The Audacity of a Dysfuctional Family, Uncategorized

Dysfunctional Families Have No Sense of Appropriateness

I am often bewildered by the requests I get from my family of origin. They ask for the most inappropriate things and then get mad at me for saying no. Most of the time they get so infuriated and will not allow me to explain why I am upset that they would even ask me to begin with. Once I was at a furniture store with my aunt and she saw a woman whose butt, yes butt, she wanted ME to take a picture of. Where do you even begin with that? Obviously, I said no. She then shoved me and said she wanted to go home. I was baffled. Why did she want a picture of this ladies butt? Why did she ask me to take it?  Why was she the one upset in the end? This was one of those events that made me see how she was getting other people to do her misdeeds. Then her demanding to go home because I wouldn’t do it was a further insult because it was my planned trip to get things for my new home. I didn’t need her to be there she asked to come with me. Every situation with her has this high potential to become chaotic. Things went from a positive trip about decorating a new home to a pornographic request to take a picture of a woman’s butt. I am still baffled about the request and the randomness of it. In my family of origin nothing seems to be off limits and there is no sense of appropriateness. My husband and I decided to open our wedding gifts in front of our immediate family the day after our wedding. We got about $1000 in cash and checks. I kid you not barely a week later my mom asks to borrow $400. I told her I didn’t have it to loan and then she brought up my wedding money she saw me open. It felt like I couldn’t have anything or I can’t be open about what I do have. To ask to borrow a daughters wedding money just feels cruel. When I said no and began to explain how this request was making me feel, she caught me off saying she didn’t need a  lecture. It brought up so many past birthday’s where she would spend my birthday money or pawn any thing of value. The utter lack of consideration to me leaves me speechless. I got married on 8/31, my birthday is 8/17 and I was told by my family that they would not celebrate anything related to my birthday because they felt I was getting too much attention for the wedding. Who tell someone they are getting too much attention? It’s not like every year I have a wedding and a birthday. It was one day! In my family when it comes to certain people they say whatever they want and expect no rebuttal. I’ve decided I am tired of being verbally ambushed. Good natured events like buying furniture, getting married, receiving wedding gifts are undercut with inappropriate comments and demands. You never know what you are going to get with this group but I can almost guarantee its going to be uncomfortable.